2004-02-18
I have been a christian all my life. I've grown up with people telling me how homosexuality is bad. I've heard more sermons from different pastors about how homosexuality is evil than you can count on your fingers and toes.
Can you see how all this is extremely confusing for me? I'm feeling so much guilt because I might be gay. I'm angry, because this isn't how it's supposed to be. I'm supposed to grow up, go to college, get married to a MAN, have a lot of kids and be a housewife on a farm. Just like it has been writen even before I was born. This isn't right.
I haven't really truely liked a guy since Steven Hawkins in the second grade. That's not supposed to happen.
Girls aren't supposed to look at other girls and think about how hot they are, or look at a girl's lips and think about how she wants to kiss her. Girls aren't supposed to want to be in another girl's arms. Girls aren't supposed to admire everything another girls says. This is wrong.
And yet it feels so right.