2004-03-03
It's getting warmer.
I'm almost scared of myself now. I don't know what I might do around her. I'm not talking sexually or anything gross like that, I'm saying that maybe one day, she'll look into my eyes and she'll see something there. Something very loving towards her. Or I'll say something in my sleep at her house that will freak her out. She won't be able to handle that, I don't think.
It's not just because she's beautiful or smart that I , uh, is 'like" the word for it? It's also because of how she treats people. She notices someone getting left out or having a bad day before I can decide if I'm even having a good or bad day. She'll make people feel welcome. She's everything I want to be, but can't. I admire her so much for that.