2004-05-07
I suddenly realized she understands me and gets me more than I ever could have hoped.She understand pretty much what makes me tick. She knows when to "turn on the charm" so that I'll open up to her. She knows how manipulative she has to be before I notice. She knows about me in a deep way.
Late night phone conversations are the best ones. The ones where you don't have to look at each other and see the embarrassment on the other's face, but you can hear it and feel it. Yet somehow, they still continue to open up and talk to you.
She's in a lot of pain right now. How do I know? I knwo the one secret about her that no one else knows : She ode yoga when she's stressed. She told me she's had to do it every morning this week. And we both know what that means.
Why is yoga such a big secret? I don't know. But it's something we never talk about past, "Yoga. I need to get up early"
I've started doing it when I'm stressed too. It kinda helps, but I think I'm doing it wrong.
Allt his I've said comes to this one point:
Do I really want her to know me that well?
In my family you do not ttalk about what is wrong. You keep it hidden. If something is goiing on, you better just deal with it cause "There's stuff that needs doin' and you gotta do it." I've never had anyone feel me that deeply and know what I'm going to say beforew I say it.
It scares me.