2004-05-19
When I first wake up I'm unstopable. I can do anything. I can drive over to Kiko's house and ring her doorbell. When she answers it, I can take her in my arms and kiss her passionately. I can tell her what I feel and love her.When I first wake up, she loves me. When I first wake up, I am in All State band and chorus. I am a dancer and a singer and an artist. I say the right things and I believe the right things and I voted correctly for the last election. I never stick out and I am what veryone wants to be.
Then I rub my eyes, stand up and stretch and realize that I am not these things. I am Sarah Vahn. I am seventh chair in the first band. My stick figures are not what one would call art. I cannot vote. I have no power. I say the wrong things and talk too much and think too much for my own good.
She does not love me the way I need her to. I cannot drive to her house without a licensed drive with me. I am not strong enough to drive to her house anyway, much less kiss her.
Just simply being me is so hard.